I love this song.
*Captivated*
It has encouraged me to look up, not down.
"Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder."
"Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze".
"Stay strong" he said.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm crumpling" she said.
"I know" he said.
"Then I remember you, holding my hand" she said.
"That's good, because I'm not letting go" he said.
"Captivated by you, may my life be one unbroken gaze, fixed upon the beauty of your face."
She ran down the path, fighting back tears. Coming to an open field she threw herself down in the tall grass and began pounding the ground with her fists. Her body shook with sobs, as she bagan to shout out loud. She shouted up to the clear blue sky. She shouted across the field. This was a dream, it wasn't happening. In yet it was....
"No other, could ever be as beautiful as You."
He watched her, wishing he could console her, but a father can only do so much. He knew she needed space, and time. His heart broke for her, for all that she was dealing with. He began to cry quietly. Not a manly cry, but weeping for the sakeof his beloved daughter. He wanted to run out across the field after her and hold her in his arms, but he knew the time wasn't right....
"No other could ever steal my heart away."
She lay there in the grass crying, slowly the sobs subsided and she rolled over and stared at that clear blue sky. This was the same field, that he got down on his knees took her hands in his, told her he loved her and asked her out. Eleven months later, he showed up at her house and told her he didn't love her anymore. He told her he had found a new girl....
"Your anger is fiercer than the sun in it's splendor"
He knew he could have stopped it. The day she came flying home, bursting with the news that she now had a boyfriend. He could have put his foot down and said no, he could have stopped it all. But no, he hadn't and now as he sat watching her, he felt more guilty than he had ever felt before. He had let his little girl down....
"Try as I may, I cannot look away."
This had led her to the field. She could hate him, she could hate the field, she could hate her life, if she chose to. The tears came again. This time more quietly. They slipped out her eyes and down her cheeks. It had been heaven on earth. He had been wonderful. She hadn't imagined that, but it had only been at that time. It was now gone....
"Beholding is becoming so as you fill my gaze..."
How could he have done that, how could he have let his beloved daughter get to this place. He pounded the ground beside him. Angry with himself for failing to be a good father. All of a sudden he heard her voice coming across to him on the breeze. "Dad....Dad...Oh I wish you knew...I wish I could talk to you." His heart leapt in his throat....
"I become more like you and my heart is changed"
She wished with all her might that her dad was there, he loved her so much. She knew that. He would help her, but he was at home, he had no idea. Still in her desperation, she softly began to call for him, than louder and louder, til she was shouting, and then screaming for him. The tears poured out of her eyes, and she felt empty and alone....
"Transform me into the likeness of you"
He jumped up off the ground and began to run across the field toward his fallen daughter. His tears continued to flow freely as he ran. And then he saw her look up, he saw her catch sight of him, he saw her fix her eyes on him and then he watched as she pulled herself to her feet and stumbled toward him. They met mid way....
"This is what I ask for all my days.'
She looked back up to the sky and gazed off across the field and then she saw him. She saw her father running toward her. Was this another dream? No it wasn't. This time she didn't want it to be a dream. She awkwardly pulled herself and up and stumbled across the field toward him. As they met he caught her in his arms and held her....
"That I may never look away."
He held her tightly, listening to her sobs. "I'm here my girl, I'm here." She clung to him. "Dad..."
"I know" he said "I know". He sat down on the ground with his sixteen year old daughter cradled in his arms and just sat there rocking her. Slowly her sobs began to become quieter until they were just hiccups. "I love you" he whispered....
"Captivated by You."
She clung to him. "I love you" he whispered. "I love you too" she whispered back. "How did you know?" Hesitantly he began to speak. "I heard you in the kitchen, I heard what he said, then I saw him leave and you run, so I ran after you." Thank you" she offered a weak smile. Looking across the field he spoke again: "I let you down daughter...."
'I am captivated by You"
"I didn't watch out for you, I didn't help protect your heart. I let that boy take it and throw it carelessly on the ground and trample upon it and I am so sorry." "Dad, what are you talking about? It was my choice!" "Yes, but I let it happen, and as your father, I am supposed to protect you from all plans of the enemy to steal, to kill and to destory...."
"I just can't look away."
"Fortunately you have a heavenly Father looking out for you who prompted me into action long ago, but I couldn't be bothered and therefore I was almost too late." "Dad, you're here and you knew and I can't believe it." "Daughter, will you forgive me for failing you?" She looked up into his sad yet hopeful eyes. "Yes Dad, you are forgiven...."
"I just can't look away."
They hugged long and hard. "Well, shall we go home?" he asked her. "Yes I think we shall."
They got up off the ground began their way back over the field home.
"No other, could ever be as beautiful as You."
The End.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Fallingggg
If I fell and hit the ground, would I be alone?
Something tells me, I wouldn't be alone lying on the cold, damp ground.
If I had the ability to sit up and look around I would see many other people.
People I know and love, people I pass on the street without a second glance.
The things that go on in a person's life, are quite often hidden away.
I don't know that she is dealing with a close friend's betrayal. I don't know that he is making the difficult decision to leave his girlfriend. I don't know that all she wants in life is for her parents to love her. I don't know that he is hiding his addiction away. I don't know that she struggles with self-worth. I don't know that he fails to live up to what life demands of him. I don't know.
They don't know that I am falling too.
We hide away from each other.
All we show the world, are our plastic smiles, and plastic happiness.
We fail to realize that we are not that different from each other, and deep inside all we want is for someone to truely know us.
We sit there facing each other on the cold, damp ground, staring at each other, surprised that the other is there. It's because I didn't know. It's because you didn't know. It's because we didn't take the time, and now is it too late?
Something tells me, I wouldn't be alone lying on the cold, damp ground.
If I had the ability to sit up and look around I would see many other people.
People I know and love, people I pass on the street without a second glance.
The things that go on in a person's life, are quite often hidden away.
I don't know that she is dealing with a close friend's betrayal. I don't know that he is making the difficult decision to leave his girlfriend. I don't know that all she wants in life is for her parents to love her. I don't know that he is hiding his addiction away. I don't know that she struggles with self-worth. I don't know that he fails to live up to what life demands of him. I don't know.
They don't know that I am falling too.
We hide away from each other.
All we show the world, are our plastic smiles, and plastic happiness.
We fail to realize that we are not that different from each other, and deep inside all we want is for someone to truely know us.
We sit there facing each other on the cold, damp ground, staring at each other, surprised that the other is there. It's because I didn't know. It's because you didn't know. It's because we didn't take the time, and now is it too late?
Saturday, February 17, 2007
It's Early In the Morning
It's 12:41 am.
Saturday February 17th 2007.
I'm just sitting here, coming down from my high of tonight.
Suites and Sweets.
It was amazing, in every way, shape and form.
Friends...*sigh*
"This Our Love.....irreplacable..."
I should post that song.
Getting along with someone is more than just laughing and having a good time.
It goes deep, way beyond comprehension.
It's looking at that person and being able to decipher their current mood or feelings accurately. (And vice versa)
It's looking at that person and knowing there is someone who does understand you.
It's looking at that person and communicating a thousand words, in one glance.
It's looking at that person and knowing without having to ask, that you are loved.
Not a common thing.
It's unique.
I'm not saying that you don't get along with someone if you can't do all that, or that doesn't all happen.
I wouldn't get along with anyone if I had to follow that criteria.
Sorry, not nobody, just very few!
Well I'm kind of tired here.
More good memories to treasure.
Good morning all...teehee.
Love
--Kathleen
Saturday February 17th 2007.
I'm just sitting here, coming down from my high of tonight.
Suites and Sweets.
It was amazing, in every way, shape and form.
Friends...*sigh*
"This Our Love.....irreplacable..."
I should post that song.
Getting along with someone is more than just laughing and having a good time.
It goes deep, way beyond comprehension.
It's looking at that person and being able to decipher their current mood or feelings accurately. (And vice versa)
It's looking at that person and knowing there is someone who does understand you.
It's looking at that person and communicating a thousand words, in one glance.
It's looking at that person and knowing without having to ask, that you are loved.
Not a common thing.
It's unique.
I'm not saying that you don't get along with someone if you can't do all that, or that doesn't all happen.
I wouldn't get along with anyone if I had to follow that criteria.
Sorry, not nobody, just very few!
Well I'm kind of tired here.
More good memories to treasure.
Good morning all...teehee.
Love
--Kathleen
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Yesterday...
Re-juiced, Re-junvinated. Re-focused.
Yesterday, was the best day I've had in weeks.
First of all I was with my best friend.
Second of all we went shopping for almost 4 hours.
Third of all we went to a pretty awesome concert last night.
J'adore shopping.
And I like going for extended periods of time.
None of this, run in, get what you want and run out.
You never know what will be there.
For you to find, for you to fall in love with, for you to decide, for you to stand in line at the cash, for you to open your wallet and remove money, for you to pay, for you to then walk away with a plastic bag that you should recycle one day in your hand, for you to enjoy the satisfying feeling of having bought something, for you to look at some of the other poor people in the mall and wonder why they couldn't be more like you and buy something, so they too can have the satisfaction of... consummerism.
I enjoy it.
Not every day, mind you.
Or even every week.
But once in a while shopping-with-a-friend-therapy becomes neccessary.
We went to "With Love Comes Hope" last night at Hamilton Place.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, I had no idea that in 12 hours I'd be at Hamilton Place in the First Balcony in Row N, in seat 142.
No idea.
But I'm glad I ended up there.
It wasn't exactly what we had expected.
But that's okay.
It was a lot of local Christian talent playing and singing and acting to the glory of God.
The interperative dances were inspiring to me.
That's when I felt the Holy Spirit.
Especially on the first one, when the troop danced to "Testify to Love" by Avalon which is a song that I love.
I felt the rush of God presence when this worship leader from a church in Missisauga got up with his rock band and played some awesome worship songs.
Esspecially the last one.
"It's all God's children singing, Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, He reigns, He reigns...."
Oh yeah.
And in between all of that, there were a variety of acts all performed to the Glory of God.
Alright, so I've blogged about number 2 and number 3. But not number 1.
The best is last.
My best friend.
Kathleen.
Oh how I love you.
Oh the memories that were created yesterday.
I'll store them away in my box and place it on a shelf to open when I'm feeling beaten down.
And though those moments number many, I have friends and I have God.
What more could I ask?
Peace.
Love.
Hope.
Joy.
--Kathleen
Yesterday, was the best day I've had in weeks.
First of all I was with my best friend.
Second of all we went shopping for almost 4 hours.
Third of all we went to a pretty awesome concert last night.
J'adore shopping.
And I like going for extended periods of time.
None of this, run in, get what you want and run out.
You never know what will be there.
For you to find, for you to fall in love with, for you to decide, for you to stand in line at the cash, for you to open your wallet and remove money, for you to pay, for you to then walk away with a plastic bag that you should recycle one day in your hand, for you to enjoy the satisfying feeling of having bought something, for you to look at some of the other poor people in the mall and wonder why they couldn't be more like you and buy something, so they too can have the satisfaction of... consummerism.
I enjoy it.
Not every day, mind you.
Or even every week.
But once in a while shopping-with-a-friend-therapy becomes neccessary.
We went to "With Love Comes Hope" last night at Hamilton Place.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, I had no idea that in 12 hours I'd be at Hamilton Place in the First Balcony in Row N, in seat 142.
No idea.
But I'm glad I ended up there.
It wasn't exactly what we had expected.
But that's okay.
It was a lot of local Christian talent playing and singing and acting to the glory of God.
The interperative dances were inspiring to me.
That's when I felt the Holy Spirit.
Especially on the first one, when the troop danced to "Testify to Love" by Avalon which is a song that I love.
I felt the rush of God presence when this worship leader from a church in Missisauga got up with his rock band and played some awesome worship songs.
Esspecially the last one.
"It's all God's children singing, Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, He reigns, He reigns...."
Oh yeah.
And in between all of that, there were a variety of acts all performed to the Glory of God.
Alright, so I've blogged about number 2 and number 3. But not number 1.
The best is last.
My best friend.
Kathleen.
Oh how I love you.
Oh the memories that were created yesterday.
I'll store them away in my box and place it on a shelf to open when I'm feeling beaten down.
And though those moments number many, I have friends and I have God.
What more could I ask?
Peace.
Love.
Hope.
Joy.
--Kathleen
Sunday, February 04, 2007
You Just Don't Realize It
You really dont realize things until other things happen.
That was vauge.
You dont really realize what somebody means to you until something bad happens.
And then sometimes its too late.
They're gone or they're hurt.
But sometimes, there is time to realize.
And then you realize that, even if they dont play a big part in your life.
That's only what you thought.
And they actually play a bigger part then you think they do.
And it hits you.
From out of no where it seems.
NO WHERE.
Then everything they mean to you comes pouring into your mind.
Your good times, and your inside jokes.
All things work together for good for those who follow Christ (Romans 8:28)
Believe it.
Trust.
What a gift.
I have so many people's gift of trust.
It almost scares me.
Things just falling into perfect place.
Like WOW.
Just falling into grace.
Falling into faithfulness.
Falling into love.
Being there for someone.
Great feeling.
Having people there for you.
Amazing feeling.
Not grappling or grasping for something concrete.
It's there in front of me.
Looking for me.
Yep.
'Cause that's the way it is.
[Find your wings]
Yep.
--Kathleen
That was vauge.
You dont really realize what somebody means to you until something bad happens.
And then sometimes its too late.
They're gone or they're hurt.
But sometimes, there is time to realize.
And then you realize that, even if they dont play a big part in your life.
That's only what you thought.
And they actually play a bigger part then you think they do.
And it hits you.
From out of no where it seems.
NO WHERE.
Then everything they mean to you comes pouring into your mind.
Your good times, and your inside jokes.
All things work together for good for those who follow Christ (Romans 8:28)
Believe it.
Trust.
What a gift.
I have so many people's gift of trust.
It almost scares me.
Things just falling into perfect place.
Like WOW.
Just falling into grace.
Falling into faithfulness.
Falling into love.
Being there for someone.
Great feeling.
Having people there for you.
Amazing feeling.
Not grappling or grasping for something concrete.
It's there in front of me.
Looking for me.
Yep.
'Cause that's the way it is.
[Find your wings]
Yep.
--Kathleen
Thursday, January 25, 2007
How Did I Deserve This?
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How did I derserve to have these people in my life?
What have I done, or said, or like anything?
I'm just a little girl full of evil and shame.
In yet, my Abba Father saw fit to place these people in my life.
AWE.
I am in the palm of His hand.
I am in the arms of friend.
*TEARS*
It is because he loves me.
It is because they love me.
"So these 3 things remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthian 13:13
--Kathleen
What have I done, or said, or like anything?
I'm just a little girl full of evil and shame.
In yet, my Abba Father saw fit to place these people in my life.
AWE.
I am in the palm of His hand.
I am in the arms of friend.
*TEARS*
It is because he loves me.
It is because they love me.
"So these 3 things remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthian 13:13
--Kathleen
Saturday, January 20, 2007
More Blessed and Loved
I blogged about being blessed today.
I said how it had not hit me how blessed I actually was til recently, basically today while I was "chilling with God".
Well, a few moments ago the blessings and love of God hit me full in the face once again.
When I read a blog post written by a beautiful friend of mine, about me.
Tears streaming down my face.
I felt the love washing over me.
Katie, you need to know how much I needed that.
You really, really do.
I am honoured beyond words.
I am encouraged.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I love you my darling Katie.
I feel like spreading the love, so here's my love to all of you.<3
Have an amazing rest of your weekend!
Kathleen.
I said how it had not hit me how blessed I actually was til recently, basically today while I was "chilling with God".
Well, a few moments ago the blessings and love of God hit me full in the face once again.
When I read a blog post written by a beautiful friend of mine, about me.
Tears streaming down my face.
I felt the love washing over me.
Katie, you need to know how much I needed that.
You really, really do.
I am honoured beyond words.
I am encouraged.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I love you my darling Katie.
I feel like spreading the love, so here's my love to all of you.<3
Have an amazing rest of your weekend!
Kathleen.
Blessed
Why has it taken me so long to figure out how blessed I am?
I mean, I know I'm blessed, but I just didn't see HOW blessed I actually am.
If I started listing things and people and just everything this post could go on for an incredibly long time.
No matter what happens in life I know that you will be there for me.
What a reassuring thought.
I believe this is the way it was meant to be.
I am indeed blessed.
I love you.
I have been chosen to lead worship *on a frequent basis* in my youth group.
I never thought I'd get here.
I wanted to get here.
Now that I've reached this moment...
I realize it's more than showing people I can play keyboard or piano and sing at the same time.
It's more than having the position of leadership.
It's more than earning the respect of my Pastor and my peers.
It's more than being the best. (Which I don't believe I am.)
It's the act of giving my talents to the One who gave them to me.
It's the act of honouring Him.
It the act of becoming His servant.
It's the act of glorifying God.
May I keep these things in view as I begin this journey.
May I have the patience I need.
May I have the wisdom required.
May I have the blessing of the Lord with me every note that I play, and every word that I sing.
Just a little girl wishing to honour her Father.
I mean, I know I'm blessed, but I just didn't see HOW blessed I actually am.
If I started listing things and people and just everything this post could go on for an incredibly long time.
No matter what happens in life I know that you will be there for me.
What a reassuring thought.
I believe this is the way it was meant to be.
I am indeed blessed.
I love you.
I have been chosen to lead worship *on a frequent basis* in my youth group.
I never thought I'd get here.
I wanted to get here.
Now that I've reached this moment...
I realize it's more than showing people I can play keyboard or piano and sing at the same time.
It's more than having the position of leadership.
It's more than earning the respect of my Pastor and my peers.
It's more than being the best. (Which I don't believe I am.)
It's the act of giving my talents to the One who gave them to me.
It's the act of honouring Him.
It the act of becoming His servant.
It's the act of glorifying God.
May I keep these things in view as I begin this journey.
May I have the patience I need.
May I have the wisdom required.
May I have the blessing of the Lord with me every note that I play, and every word that I sing.
Just a little girl wishing to honour her Father.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
I Cannot Think Of A Title To Express Myself.
Just one more thing to add to all of it. *sigh*
I'm searching for peace.
I'm searching for hope.
I know where to find it.
I'm just not getting it.
I'm probably not reaching far enough.
Pounding head.
I am thinking overtime.
Too many things to think about.
So tired.
I wish it was easier to get to a friend's house.
It takes so long to get anywhere.
*The danger of being homeschooled*.
Promises..keeping hanging on.
You promised me
That You’d never leave
Or let me go
You promised me
That You’d love me through
The highs and lows
You promised me
You won’t give me more
Than I can bear
You promised me
That when I cry out
That You’d be there
The shadowlands are what I know
So I’m hanging on to
Your every word
The shadowlands surround me now
But You walk with me through the cloud
Into the sun
Into the sun
You promised me
If I sow in tears
I’ll reap in joy
You promised me
That You will breathe life
Into my soul
I know it’s true
All that You sayI believe in You
And I am standing on
The promises You’ve made
You promised me and I believe
--Rebecca St. James.
Promises.
I'll *TRY* to keep hanging on.
--Kathleen
I'm searching for peace.
I'm searching for hope.
I know where to find it.
I'm just not getting it.
I'm probably not reaching far enough.
Pounding head.
I am thinking overtime.
Too many things to think about.
So tired.
I wish it was easier to get to a friend's house.
It takes so long to get anywhere.
*The danger of being homeschooled*.
Promises..keeping hanging on.
You promised me
That You’d never leave
Or let me go
You promised me
That You’d love me through
The highs and lows
You promised me
You won’t give me more
Than I can bear
You promised me
That when I cry out
That You’d be there
The shadowlands are what I know
So I’m hanging on to
Your every word
The shadowlands surround me now
But You walk with me through the cloud
Into the sun
Into the sun
You promised me
If I sow in tears
I’ll reap in joy
You promised me
That You will breathe life
Into my soul
I know it’s true
All that You sayI believe in You
And I am standing on
The promises You’ve made
You promised me and I believe
--Rebecca St. James.
Promises.
I'll *TRY* to keep hanging on.
--Kathleen
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Welcome to 2007
There's no where else that I'd rather be, then dancing with you as you sing over me.
Theres' nothing else that I'd rather do, then Lord then to worship you...
Amen
My first post of 2007.
Well this Christmas holiday was very interesting.
Catching up on stuff.
Helping with Keith's film project.
Being fake\real girlfriend support.
Making some new friends.
Starting my new part-time job.
Coaching one of my best friends through some relationship issues.
Hanging out with my friends.
Seeing a friend I haven't seen in 7 months.
Indoor Skating.
Getting to know perople I've known for a long time, better.
Letting my friends know what they mean to me.
"That's what you think!"
"I don't feel like it"
"Just trust me"
"My feet are beginning to feel like feet again."
"I love you"
"We share a hero in common!"
"The backpack is vibrating!!!!!"
Much laughing.
Much fun.
Pictures tell the whole story.
All the stories.
I really need to get a digital camara of my own.
Oh what joy!
--Kathleen
Theres' nothing else that I'd rather do, then Lord then to worship you...
Amen
My first post of 2007.
Well this Christmas holiday was very interesting.
Catching up on stuff.
Helping with Keith's film project.
Being fake\real girlfriend support.
Making some new friends.
Starting my new part-time job.
Coaching one of my best friends through some relationship issues.
Hanging out with my friends.
Seeing a friend I haven't seen in 7 months.
Indoor Skating.
Getting to know perople I've known for a long time, better.
Letting my friends know what they mean to me.
"That's what you think!"
"I don't feel like it"
"Just trust me"
"My feet are beginning to feel like feet again."
"I love you"
"We share a hero in common!"
"The backpack is vibrating!!!!!"
Much laughing.
Much fun.
Pictures tell the whole story.
All the stories.
I really need to get a digital camara of my own.
Oh what joy!
--Kathleen
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