Broken

Broken
Could this be real
This is my life we’re talking about
Everything was perfect
It seemed perfect
He seemed to be the one
I was so certain
Now it’s fallen apart before my eyes
Broken Hearted
What did I do?
Why?
I sit here
I let my tears flow unbidden
What happened?
It felt like heaven
Now it feels like hell
Heart-broken
My friends surround me
I feel so alone though
I scream, I shout.
My knight in shining armor
Has turned into my broken heart
Whose lying?
Why does this feel all wrong
Broken
The pain is too much
He was the love of my life
He was my hope
Now he’s gone
Does he care?
I’m so confused
Where did we go wrong?
Broken-hearted
The we has been taken out of we
We are no more
It seems impossible
We were perfect
Were we?
My life is crashing in
My love is gone
Heart-Broken
My heart is torn in two
One-half lies solitary on the floor
It is too much pain
I thought this was it
I was in love
I was soaring above the clouds
Now I’m huddled in the corner
Broken
I gotta get out of this corner
Gotta get back up
Move on
Eventually I will fly again
On the wings of my friends
When that day comes
My heart will be
Complete

--written by me

--Kathleen

Changed Format

I decided to change my format because my previous one didn't seem very summery and I wanted a summery format. lol.
Hope everybody is having a good summer!!

Joy,
Kathleen

Maggie

Okay, wow. This afternoon I went back to volunteering. (read previous post).
When I stopped volunteering 7 months ago, there was a lady who I will call Maggie. That I had befriended and talked to a lot and she was in hosptial and they didn't think that she would make it. Long story short, 7 months later she is still very much alive and though not as strong, her mind is as sharp as anything.

I was walking down her hallway, just seeing who was still there and who was new and such like and at a distacne I could see the entrance to her room. Now, beside each room there is a box that the perosn living in that room can put pictures in. And (from a distance) I thought that the pictures looked a lot like hers. So I quickened my steps. The feeling that came over me as I stood at her door and saw the firmiliar pictures that I had been told some of the stories behind and her name emblazoned on the card below was a feeling that I don't know if I have ever felt. I was so happy. All of me just simply said "She's still alive!" I knocked on the door and went in. Maggie was reading. She looked up and said. "OH I haven't seen you in ages!" "Kathleen, right?" I went to her sitting in her chair and I almost started crying. This lady who had been through so much and almost died in the last months, remembered who I was and not only who I was, but she remembered my NAME!! I was shocked, amazed and as I said before, I almost started crying. We proceeded to have an half hour long conversation. She remembered that I was homeschooled and a variety of other things that you would not expect someone her age and someone who had been so sick to remember.

I love volunteering there. There are so many people, from all different backgrounds that all have fascinating stories to share. Don't under estimate elderly people. In many ways they are much more intelligent than teens. They have a lot of wisdom to share. And all they want in their old age is a friendly person to talk to and share their lives with. Don't be scared of them. They are people just like us and more.

Oh and dont' forget to smile. They LOVE teens and apparently by all comments to me and staff they love (at least mine) our smiles too. :-)

-Kathleen

Going Back to Volunteer

FINALLY!!!!!!!! After almost 7 months. I am going back to volunteer at the Long Term Care Facility down the street. I was "kicked" out because of a flu outbreak and I didn't\don't have my flu shot so I wasn't allowed to go in. 7 months later, it's finally over. The flu outbreak. Frankly, that is the longest flu out break I have ever heard of. Anyways. I'm going in this afternoon. Tuesday afternoon's will be my slot to volunteer. This is going to be an experience going back in. Well I shall take it step by step.

Joy,
Kathleen

Okay I found this in a file on my computer and found it rather...*insert word*

"Yes we do meet again, and how glad I am too. My heart sings with joy that I can talk to you yet one more time before you leave for a distant land far beyond reach; past all that is sane into a world where everything is joyful and seemingly perfect ."

I really don't know what to make of this. lol. What do you think?

-Kathleen

Adequate

This is a song that I wrote tonight sitting at my piano.

Adequate
I'm gonna take the next train that comes into town, I don't know where it's going, I don't care where.
How much do I have to give, how much do I have to do before I'm adequate for this world?
How far do I have to go, what do I have to do before I'm adequate?

When you're singing it, it repeats a few times in specific places.
Yeah that's me tonight....feeling inadequate to a certain point.

-Kathleen

Back From Where I Was

So I'm back.. 2 weeks is a long time to be away from basically everything. I was camping with all my family on my mom's side. When we were all there, their were 17 of us. I have 5 cousins on my mom's side. And they are between the ages of 5 and 10. I know most of the people who will be reading this will be slightly taken aback, most of my friends being dutch. :-). My cousins are all younger than me, but they are so much fun. lol. I helped teach my 5 year old cousin to swim. By the end of the 2 weeks she was reaching for me to swim out to the farthest bouy(sp?) line. And I gave her and my 7 year old cousin rides to the beach on the back of my bike. We even attempted to ride altogether on the same bike at the same time. That was quite the experience, when we got back we found that my 5 year old cousins shoe had been rubbing on the chain and there was a lot of grease on her shoe so in the diminishing light I used apple scented dish washing liquid and an old rag and scrubbed her shoe clean. Ahhh the many experiences of camping. Besides giving my cousins transportation. I went swimming, kayaking,walking, shopping, and baking. Oh yeah baking. :-P While we were away it was Grandma's BD so I went to the store and bought a cake mix and icing and went back to my campsite and in the middle of the forest I made a double decker french vanilla cake with cream cheese icing and chocolate shavings! It was really good too. And my Grandma was surprised and pleased which was great. I did a lot of things in 2 weeks, but as we pulled out I could think of 3 things that I didn't do. This park has so much to do, you can't do it all. lol Oh yes another thing we did was my sister and I went to every single evening program, which totalled 12 programs. 'Cause they didn't have programs on Sundays. Another thing I did was I read scripture for the Sunday morning service at the Amphitheatre. I enjoyed my time there, I had a lot of fun, but being home is the greatest! :-)

-Kathleen