highhhh lightttt of my life

I"m doing okay right now.
Drugs are cool.
Friends are the absolute highlight of life.
You know when they just come to see you, because they love you and they're concerned about you and such like? It makes you feel so special when they look at you and smile and you just know. You know the care; the hope that they bring; the courage they give at certain points; the understanding they stare you down with; the trust they seek to earn and keep; the look on their face when they're proud of you; the longing in their eyes when they want to make you understand something, but they aren't quite sure how to do it; because even though you're as honest as anything with each other, you're still two individual people trying to learn and understand. And when I'm with them, I generally never want it to end. I highly dislike saying good-bye, except if I know without a shadow of a doubt when I'll next see them. But my human mind is crazy and sometimes I get carried away like maybe I won't see them again here; my heart aches or something. I wish maybe I could take the hours and go back so we can start over and, but I don't want to change the good times, the laughter, some minor confusion, and even awkwardness of the last hours, so I try to let go and remember those hours until the next time when we gather to hang-out or party. Except for Jesus, my friends are the highlight of my life. I thrive on friends. Interesting thing is, I used to not be able to live without people's opinions. I needed them, it seems, whether positive or negative. Now I can live without them...most of the time...but people in themselves have become more important to me. Every person affects me in some way. And even when I catch myself expressing displeasure over someone I do not like so well, I cringe and ask myself how they've affected me....and what I have learnt from them. Not necessarily their opinion of me, but the little things I've observed that I think, whoa I want to be like that and I want to incorporate that into my life. A lot of people inspire me as well. Inspire me to strive to be better then I am, try new things, and argue efectively( sp?). To learn about things I didn't think I was interested in and to find that I can actually appreciate it in some way. Maybe not the same way that they can, but I can appreciate it. It's wonderful. You can't live on people though, you can only live on God and all He is. It's even more wonderful.


During my overdose of sedation pills period I quoted some scripture to my mother on the drive to the "place". I cannot remember telling my mother but it's a great passage, and one of my new favourites.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.
Isaiah 26:3-4

It certainly is fitting with my whole surgery experience.
God is good, so good we can't comprehend it.
Thank you to the people who sent me notes, called and visited me over the last few days. It meant a lot to me and assisted greatly in over-coming any pain I had and keeping a positive mind-set. You know who you are. I wish I had the courage to tell you to your face exactly what it meant to me. As I continue to heal, please keep praying that everything "settles in" the way it's supposed to.

All my love.