sweet indeed

This is the last full day I will ever be "sweet 16". Oh, it just goes so fast. It would be easy to try to cling to 16, but 17 is imminent so I'll take a step, even when the battle for my heart and mind and soul, and actions and words is not over.

What about sweet 17? I think so.

fortunately, God isn't a computer

I tried to upload a picture and it sent me an error message and wouldn't let me proceed.

I'm so glad that my God doesn't send me error messages. Even when I'm doing it all wrong, He let's me keep going and helps me figure out what's going on, so everything, eventually, uploads properly, one way or another.

This isn't what I was originally going to say, but that other thing can wait.

PS. This will post with God in lower case letters. Please imagine it with an upper case "G".

typical, mixed up

Often we lose sight of why we're doing what we're doing.

We also lose sight of who we are, and what we've become; who we're becoming.

We lose sight of what we are living for; what is the goal.

We lose sight of when we decided to live for, what we are living.

We also lose sight of where we are going, and where it is.

We lose sight of how we got here, how we keep breathing.

It's mechanical.

breathing deeply. burning muscles. tears. the sound of shoes hitting the cement. joy. getting it all out there. it feels good.

2

Deary me, as I read my post again in the format of my blog I saw the date and realized I have been blogging for 2 years today. I do not know how I remember these things, but I do. I need not say anything about my enjoyment of blogging, I think it is fairly evident. :-)

I must say [this dance]

In the dead of the night, last night, after a wonderfully happy cast and crew party; these lyrics spilled through my head over and over again. So I wrote them down, and now I'm putting them here. It's quite intimate I must say.

Can I have this dance forever
Can I waltz with you every day
Will you guide me through the footwork
Spin me out and bring me back in
Will you hold me in your arms
Lead me strongly on

I rather feel like it is a "chorus" for some song that must be brewing inside me somewhere. Oh, and before you think I've fallen into the pit of earthly romance without so much as backward glance or word of warning, I must also say it is a love song to Jesus. Go read it again.

Although...I must say yet again that this would be an incredibly romantic thing for a guy to say to the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. At least, that's what I think.

everybody dance now

Last week I made a list. One thing on the list that my blogger friend Bekah actually pointed out was "break to find beauty".

I did it. When I went away this weekend, I prayed that God would break me to find beauty, and He did it.

The theme was "new". I was thinking about that word. This is my own definition: new- the beginning of something different. It is. It's like breathing out brand spanking new air. Or waking up refreshed. I love God moments.

I threw away one of the deepest, darkest corners of my life on Saturday night. Or at least I tried to. I have no guarantee I'll 100% succeed, but I'm told I'm not alone. It was a dark corner that no other soul knows about, but it has turned into a corner of healing Light.

I am a pillar of marble and rock, beautiful and stately. I stand at the corner of people's lives. Sometimes, I don't know why I stand there, but I have a purpose for being there. I am strong.

God looked at us, and he said: "it is very good".

Everybody dance now.
--
So, you get spun out into a different rhythm and you find out this beat is harder dance to, but there's only a new spotlight you can spin into.
--
I do not understand, and I don't pretend to understand but here is my statement: I'll be your friend.
--
Cry any kind of tears all you want, it will get you places.
--
In case I ever forgot to tell you: I love you.
--
I'm waiting, as patiently as possible....

a friendship party

So, as Carol-Lee has inspired me to greater heights:

What are people doing on Victoria Day?
Would you like to have a impromtu party of sorts?
Like at the Burlington Waterfront?

--

I have some new jewels, and oh, they hurt.

I used to rule the world

So, in other words, if you feel like it, I kind of was hinting at, and sort of wondering, if you wouldn't mind, if you wanted to....call me? Or send me an email or I don't know, something! :P

I'm actually not talking to anyone inpraticular, by the way. Though it would be strange if you figured out my phone number and called me and I didn't know you.... anyways, you can tell I'm a little not altogether, so I guess, call at your own risk. It also explains why I'm posting stuff that doesn't have much meaning on my blog. You can only pay attention to yourself for so long.:P

SIGH.
I'm glad I decided to be honest. I feel better.

I love you.

THE END.

kind of

I'm kind of depressish. Not really, but sorta. I'm kind of lonely too. I guess you could say I'm in withdrawel. I'm getting back to the seriousness of school and it's kinda of crazy. I miss people, probably you. I told myself this time I wouldn't fall into this kind of pit, but I guess it was kind of inevitable. I'm good though, I think. But I think it would kinda lift me up a little if I had some interaction with a smiling face...or voice, that I loved.

--

I got this sweet new system for my room. iPod docking system, CD player, clock and radio all in one. It's pretty amazing. It even came with a remote, so I don't have to move my lazy self to change it or anything while I work away at my school. Ha. What incentive to work harder.:P

--

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or is it in your head? Or merely in the heightened emotion of being seperated for a time?

--

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter. I'm feeling: yes and no, thank you.