100

My 100th post.

Tonight I played "Remember When it Rained" at my recital.
It went okay. Nothing spactacular, but nothing terrible.
Though, this one guy came up to me as I was leaving and told me I was amazing on the piano and my playing was full of character and emotion. Steph said that too. So, it must have been pretty good. Aren't you always you're most critical judge?

i played it with you on my mind. my friend. because i love to remember when it rained.

--

What is with missing people? You stay home and work hard at school for a few days and suddenly you're all over the place in how you feel. I don't get this. I'm being so sentimental. why? there isn't even a good reason...seriously. Oh well? Heh. That's such a question. Oh and what is with all these questions and wonderings?

when you walk away, i count the steps that you take.

goodbye till tomorrow.

today

i wasn't going to blog today. but i was reading other people's blogs and leaving some very long comments on some and i decided i wanted to.

today it rained, and i enjoyed it and i wished it had rained some more and then i would have gone outside and danced in the rain and let it wash over me. i want more rain.
today i thought a lot about a lot of things that somehow all conencted, but i don't really now how.
today i asked a lot of questions in my mind.
today i listened to a lot of music, because it helps me work better.
today i started to write a new song.
today i started to write a new story.
today i went to the park and swung on the swing for 25 minutes and just enjoyed the evening and the beautiful sky.
today i missed people. some alive, some dead. some i saw a few days or less ago and others i haven't seen in a long time.
today i held one of the babies on my lap because she was sick and she needed someone to hold her and it was a precious moment.
today i almost perfected the song i'm playing at my recital tomorrow. "remember when it rained" by josh groban. i like it a lot. it's so emtionally wonderful.
today is done
tomorrow is coming.
God is the same.

Body Language

Blurry. We all have our preferences.
We all have our sense of humour, idiosnycrasies, and quirks that make us who we are: our personalities.

Blurry. We all have our signatures.

We all have our memories, reasons and experiences that make us the way we are: our character.

Clear. We all have our loves.

We all have people we love : our friends.

Accepting us for who we are and all that we come with. Baggage and gifts.

"The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one another's existance."

-Sue Atchley Ebaugh

This is how I feel right now.

Can you see how much I need you right now?- (AL)

Can you tell how much I love you, even when I don't tell you?-(KL)

alternative

I wonder what things would be like if I hadn't gone where I went. It's difficult to imagine an alternative to how it is. I try to imagine what life would be like, even if one event had happened differently and I can't conjure up any good alternatives. Even for the not so great stuff. One friend and I were talking about how after a person enters your life, you cannot under any circumstances, imagine life without them. I try to colour in their faces and black them out, to see if I can forget. but they always just bounce right back, clear as if they were always there. The truth though, is, do I really want to imagine life without people? And not just people, but these people. Right now there's a lot of people in my life that I really couldn't live without. Desperate as it may sound, I need them. Each person offers a different perspective, a different kind of love and a different appreciation for me. I like variety and I'm so glad we are all so different. But not different enough we can't relate at all, or carry out an intelligent debate.

--

Summer is basically upon us and I still have a chunk of work to do, I'm going to try to work really hard this week. I keep telling myself I am. I hope I can. I want to be free this summer to be with friends and write another story, and write some new songs and play the piano for hours and hours trying new things and go places I love and places I've never been. I want... the list goes on and on.

--

I actually quite enjoy Avril Lavigne's fairly new hit song.... "When You're Gone". I like it a lot and I'm still trying to figure out why, because on the whole I don't really appreciate her music.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=6407230

I don't neccesarily agree with all subject matter though.

testing 2

Is this better?

testing

So , I got a new template.... and basically the only thing wrong is I can't figure out how to get comments...heh. Can somebody help me please? I guess you'll have to email me.:P
I went onto Halo scan and tried to add the "widget" to my blog but it would only give me the option of adding it to the other blog of which I am NOT the "owner". And I don't want to do that. So yeah, frustrated here.

16

1-- Have you ever loved someone so much, it made you cry? I have. I'll readily admit it, because I believe it is part of the definition of true love.


2-- My birthday was so perfect. Like everything. This morning, I wouldn't have said that, but now, it's perfect and the completion is coming.


3-- I am so honoured to have the friends I have. Plain and simple. There's a lot of love around here and I like it that way.


4--Worry comes too naturally. I guess that rather relates back to love again doesn't it?


5-- I'm really into love, but that's okay. Love makes me life, and that isn't a lie at all.


6-- I miss you the second you leave. It doesn't matter how long we've talked or hung-out. I don't care...it's the truth.


7-- I've learned quite recently that my smile is a large part of the definition of Kathleen Laird.


8-- Everything costs something.


9-- Your greastest pleasure is that which rebounds from hearts that you have made glad.- Henry Ward Beecher.


10--I'm experiencing different emotions. I'm pretty sure it's better though, different but better. People may try to convince me otherwise, and tell me there are other options, but it's okay. I don't think I want something different anyways...at least not now. We'll see how time plays out.


11-- A positive mind set is key to staying healthy in all aspects of your being. Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.


12-- People appreciate you praying for them. A lot.


13-- Letters are one of the most beautiful ways of communication.


14-- It's okay to be transperant once in a while with people you aren't normally transparent with.


15-- It's perfectly fine to tell them you miss them.


16-- Oh and please, tell them you love them.

I will.

I love you.

Them = anybody you love.

--

16 thoughts. 16 years old.

There are a lot more thoughts, but not now.

Come, let's worship Him and bow down. Let's kneel before the Lord who made us. Because he is our God and we are the people He takes care of, the sheep he tends. Psalm 95:6-7

all

i see your heart , staring out at the world through your eyes.

i see

i see

i see

you.

in...

all you are.

because you're you...no not you...you.

9

--1

...there's an element of mystery about you...and that's what i like...no not you...you...

--2

4 days until 16. it's exciting, but yeah...ummm there's everything else that comes with it as well.

--3

do fairy tales always have to have a handsome "prince" show up(in the end)?
the question is, will the "princess" survive without him?
hard to tell...we'll see...
if reality were fairy tales...life would be perfect...but that's not reality...sooo whatever. get over it. heh. not so easy sometimes when you've got a girly heart.
girly heart. i like that term.

--4

surprises.
i enjoy them immensely.

--5

somebody asked me if i was in love and i told them yes...but it wasn't who, what, where, why, when and how at all...it wasn't what you would expect at all...

--6

so i'm going to make it....i don't know if this is something to be proud of or not...so i won't say what i'm going to make it to. in a small way i wish i wasn't going to make it. and in another bigger way, i'm proud of myself.

--7

i can't wait til saturday. it will be amazing and i know it.

i need you
and there is nothing i must prove
for you are a friend that loves at all times
i thank God for you.

--8

a summer job fell into my lap.
God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
i'll be working at the daycare i've been working at 1 or 2 days a week this past school year.
that reminds me of the babies. yes i've fallen in love...*sigh*.
there's praticularly one little girl, she's 17 months old now. her name is Avery and she has huge chocolate brown eyes and dark brown curls. she's as chubby as anything and she's very vocal. we call her "Miss Avery" or "Avery Baby". i adore her. i wish i had a picture of her..i think i'll ask if it would be okay if i took pictures of the babies..hopefully the parents will be cool with it and such like.. legal stuff. blah.
Belle and Sarah are the other babies.
Belle is blond and "Miss Smiley." she used to cry every time she saw me, then she went through a maturity period. and now she loves me, 'cause i raise her above my head and laugh with her. and then i let her down so she's hanging upside down while i'm holding her little hands and we laugh again. i call her "Belleadear". this is my special nickname for her.
Sarah is red haired and "Miss Cuddley." she's also as light as anything. she's quiet but she has these funny expressions she makes with her face and it is absolutely hilarious. we call her
"Sarah Beara"

--9

that's why. and that's final.

friendship

I spent Saturday afternoon with two of my friends who I've known the longest.

This is us.

Mallory.Meredith.Kathleen

The love of friendship.beautiful attract(ive)

kathleen margaret (danielle).

meredith victoria leigh.

mallory elizabeth lynn.

asian me.

me.

the beauty of friendship. i heart them a lot. mer and mal.

the imagination of friendship. chinese umbrellas on the diving board.

this is us.

the craziness of friendship. ooooo .

wow.

look at us now.

peace yo.

friends since 1998 and counting.

yep.

the fun of friendship. meredith and I in the change room at bluenotes.

.heart.