the middle

I thought I would be unmoved.

history written

My summer in photos, in no praticular order whatsoever. Abby and I (veryyyy sunny)

Belle!

Tawni!

Jenna! (I know it's slightly out of focus, but she's beautiful)
Sarah!

CJ! (my handsome man!)



Jenna, Sarah, Abby and Tawni<3The Daycare!

oh Campfire!

oh Service Week!

oh Parties!

The most beautiful: Karin

Ryan

Katrina and Karin

Luke and Keith, how dull life would be without them.

Karin and I screaming silently

Karin and I blowing kisses...

Karin and I trying to smile normally

The Red Roses! (D1)

Keith and Ryan! (D1)

Chapel! (D1)

Katie and I (in our matching Gleaner's shirts-SW)

Red Roses chalking up the front porch (D1)

BOYS! (D4)

Rosalie(Waterwings) and I (Harttz) -Co-counselor's! (D4)

Campers! (D4)

Karin came to visit @ D4!

Mel/Mels/Melanie/Zizzle /Zizz and Erica (SW)

Katie, Faythe and I (SW)

D4!

D1!

...But if you never try, you'll never know...

Summer 2008 makes a quiet exit accompanied by fragmented thoughts, music and love. There is so much I could say, but I don't know if I want to say it all out loud.

I did say this, but I know it more everyday, I am not the same: inside out.

I am captivated by You, all over again.

I'm on top, On top of what? I'm a senior. It doesn't feel as old as it looked a mere 4 years ago.

Gone are the days of summer, we couldn't change them if we tried.

I don't want to. Not a day. Not a lesson learned. Not a smile shared. Not a situation handled. Not a frustration expressed. Not a hug shared. Not.

Something beautiful, has taken control of me.

This is just the beginning (again).

Philippians 2:1-18

like we've done so many times before

We sat and talked, it was 1 am, again. This time, 1 am was all different. It is different. It's a new chapter, and a new life. "It could have ended in hate, but what we got left with was some kind of love pulling us through. Hard to imagine if things had been different". Here we go... and this time it REALLY is different, we're not just pretending.

I'm so glad God has a divinely perfect plan and even though I totally don't know what I'm doing, He does. Yeah, I need to say that and believe it over and over again, and then over again.

A new hope and new dreams, for me, for you, for the world.

God is good, ALL the time!

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

prone to be out there

D4 is over and done with. In fact there's no more camp this summer. I think my harttz breaking. I learned so much more, and that's one thing I relearned; you are never ever finished learning.
God's plan is rediculously perfect and I don't have to worry at all, 'cause He knows what He's doing even when I totally do not. When will I remember?

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I knew it, but now I know it. One told me, at least I was honest about my life and she respected that a lot. You know, I don't even know if I could hide if I wanted to and I'm pretty sure I don't want to. I suppose I'll just keep up being me and let it all hang out sometimes.

You know what I love to do? Encourage people. It has become my hobby this summer. Encouragment is most ardently vital of life. So is love. I'm blessed to have both, to give and recieve.

We sat under the starry sky and you told me the truth...I always heard that the truth is what set's you free, and I know it's true.

one last hug

To say goodbye it breaks your heart, breaks your mind and breaks your emotion.
The danger of people, is you get attached, and then eventually you break apart.
The saying 'savour every moment' is so true, how often we loose sight.
In some ways a part of my died today on the sidewalk as I walked away from them.
It was the last time they would be there and I would be there with them.
Now, it will always be me there and them somewhere else.
This has caused me more pain and tears than anything in a while.
To think they are only almost three, and seven, then thirty four and thirty seven.
One last hug, then they were gone, and I'm again walking, on yet another slightly turned path.

And I am so happy about other things...
What an emotional up and down wreck I am.
God loves to care about these wrecks, and I am eternally greatful for that.

I think I'm falling really fast, and I have an idea of where I want to land. Eeeek.

eyes wrenched open

I am rocked and shaken, and I am very happy.
I have a lot to think about and I can't keep it all contained.
It's all running around in my head and driving me.
What I've seen and what I've done I may never do again.
I would do it again though, if I had the chance.
I want to learn more, but I feel like I might explode if it came in now.
At the back of my mind I say I can't understand, because I haven't "been" there.
I can do my own understanding, I just don't get it like anybody else, like you don't.
When I climbed in my eyes were wrenched open and they watered like crazy.
I just couldn't close them though, I know now.
Give me strength to be what he needs, he believes in me so much.
It's daunting and amazing, and I don't know where this is all headed.
But I'm excited for this new path of people and of mind-set.
Also please God, grant me strength as they take-off.
I'm going to miss them like crazy, but I want to go next February.
I'm blessed beyond words, beyond measure, beyond anything I deserve.
Thank you to many people and thank you Lord.
Your will be done.

-Philppians 2:1-18-

serve with all of your heart

I think I'm ready, but I don't think I'm ready.

(It doesn't help I miss you like crazy.)

I'm outta here!!!

PS. I cannot believe it's going to be August when I get home, this whole time passing thing is insane.

Yellowcard

Till today I did not know this band existed, and I really like them, a lot. I know music is such a controversial subject and you may not appreciate, but I was just instantly impressed so I thought I would share.

I esspecially like the track "Shrink the World", although, I have a few more tracks to listen to yet.

They have a punk/rock kind of sound, I think.

as we go

He always shows up to make me happy. I hope I love Him enough for it, but I know I do not.

We love, because He first loved us.

--

I don't even know if you would understand properly at all.

reaching my heart

Goodnight, sweet dreams, I miss you.

Sometimes, that's what I need to hear. Oh, wait, tonight I did hear it.

They are reaching my heart.
--

This perfume is amazing, I want it more.

This will be posted the same day as the last one, but in mind, it's a totally different day.