prone to be out there

D4 is over and done with. In fact there's no more camp this summer. I think my harttz breaking. I learned so much more, and that's one thing I relearned; you are never ever finished learning.
God's plan is rediculously perfect and I don't have to worry at all, 'cause He knows what He's doing even when I totally do not. When will I remember?

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I knew it, but now I know it. One told me, at least I was honest about my life and she respected that a lot. You know, I don't even know if I could hide if I wanted to and I'm pretty sure I don't want to. I suppose I'll just keep up being me and let it all hang out sometimes.

You know what I love to do? Encourage people. It has become my hobby this summer. Encouragment is most ardently vital of life. So is love. I'm blessed to have both, to give and recieve.

We sat under the starry sky and you told me the truth...I always heard that the truth is what set's you free, and I know it's true.

one last hug

To say goodbye it breaks your heart, breaks your mind and breaks your emotion.
The danger of people, is you get attached, and then eventually you break apart.
The saying 'savour every moment' is so true, how often we loose sight.
In some ways a part of my died today on the sidewalk as I walked away from them.
It was the last time they would be there and I would be there with them.
Now, it will always be me there and them somewhere else.
This has caused me more pain and tears than anything in a while.
To think they are only almost three, and seven, then thirty four and thirty seven.
One last hug, then they were gone, and I'm again walking, on yet another slightly turned path.

And I am so happy about other things...
What an emotional up and down wreck I am.
God loves to care about these wrecks, and I am eternally greatful for that.

I think I'm falling really fast, and I have an idea of where I want to land. Eeeek.

eyes wrenched open

I am rocked and shaken, and I am very happy.
I have a lot to think about and I can't keep it all contained.
It's all running around in my head and driving me.
What I've seen and what I've done I may never do again.
I would do it again though, if I had the chance.
I want to learn more, but I feel like I might explode if it came in now.
At the back of my mind I say I can't understand, because I haven't "been" there.
I can do my own understanding, I just don't get it like anybody else, like you don't.
When I climbed in my eyes were wrenched open and they watered like crazy.
I just couldn't close them though, I know now.
Give me strength to be what he needs, he believes in me so much.
It's daunting and amazing, and I don't know where this is all headed.
But I'm excited for this new path of people and of mind-set.
Also please God, grant me strength as they take-off.
I'm going to miss them like crazy, but I want to go next February.
I'm blessed beyond words, beyond measure, beyond anything I deserve.
Thank you to many people and thank you Lord.
Your will be done.

-Philppians 2:1-18-

serve with all of your heart

I think I'm ready, but I don't think I'm ready.

(It doesn't help I miss you like crazy.)

I'm outta here!!!

PS. I cannot believe it's going to be August when I get home, this whole time passing thing is insane.

Yellowcard

Till today I did not know this band existed, and I really like them, a lot. I know music is such a controversial subject and you may not appreciate, but I was just instantly impressed so I thought I would share.

I esspecially like the track "Shrink the World", although, I have a few more tracks to listen to yet.

They have a punk/rock kind of sound, I think.

as we go

He always shows up to make me happy. I hope I love Him enough for it, but I know I do not.

We love, because He first loved us.

--

I don't even know if you would understand properly at all.

reaching my heart

Goodnight, sweet dreams, I miss you.

Sometimes, that's what I need to hear. Oh, wait, tonight I did hear it.

They are reaching my heart.
--

This perfume is amazing, I want it more.

This will be posted the same day as the last one, but in mind, it's a totally different day.

frayed ends

As old over -written chapters close and brand new unknown chapters open, there is fear and sadness, accompanied with some joy.

I knew they needed me; I need them. We're fighting the current and feeling the effects of the undertow. "For such a time as this".

Please, be serious, you're losing me in that maze of yours; seriously.

love is patient

Here I am once again at the end of another week of camp. A very different week of camp. After pulling 15 hour days, growing more in awe of my Savior and learning lots, I am full of His presence in my life. I had the the priviledge and great frustration of leading seven, mostly eight year old's, along with my co-counsellor who was also a CIT. Fortunately we hit it off and are now great friends. We bumped along figuring it out as we went. It was an incredible week. I met some truly amazing people. also serving as counsellor's. I was inspired by them, encouraged by them and I came away from the week with many new friends, praticularly one. It's amazing when you go somewhere and all around is the goodness of the Lord. You're in this little box full of blessings. Devotions, chapel, singing all the time, conversations on worship, the Holy Spirit and more, CPD's (Cabin pack devotions) and encouragement. I rather wish "real" life was like that; full of God all the time. It's our choice.
Our King came to serve us, not to be served.

These verses were a part of my experience:

I had a part of this verse in my head all week and I didn't have time to sit down and figure out where it was until I got home. The part I had in my head is in bold.

"Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything , to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place."--Ephesians 6: 13, 14.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves, is born of God and knows God" -1 John 4:7

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." -Galatians 5: 22, 23

"...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead... -Philippians 3: 13b

"Finally brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you"- Philippians 4:8,9.

I have sad news weighing on my heart, but that's for next time, I really want to revel in the blessings.

I've been moving in a new direction

For what it's worth, your life can change in a week. You can find freedom.

Braeside (Camp) was an insanely wonderful experience. It was stretching, and at times very tiring, but, such good times. It kind of threw me back to when I was 7 and attending a different church in Hamilton. A lot of the people at the camp are from my old church. I actually reconnected with a girl I was in Sunday school with eleven years ago! It makes you remember who you were, and who you are now.

He made me think that he's amazing; which he is.

Something's going on...