thanksgiving of life

I just need to get this out.

I sat by his bed and held his hand as he gripped me tight. I looked at him lying there, breathing with help, eyes closed, and wondered what he could be thinking. The sun shone through the window and blinded me and brought tears to my eyes. A few fell and I looked quickly away from the rest of my family standing in the room with me, various things rolling through my mind. All of a sudden I heard a sound and turning around saw my grandma entering the room. She put a finger to her lips. I offered her my chair, but she wanted me to keep holding his hand, so she sat on the edge of the chair beside me, just looking at him. A few minutes later she reached over and squeezed his knee. His eyes fluttered open and the smile that spilt his face was one of pure joy, and something else...love. In that moment I was hit by so many emotions I was completely overcome. I just hope that one day someone, whoever they may be will look at me with that same look on their face, full of joy and love, no matter the situation. Then I had to leave, I felt like I couldn't breathe 'cause the tears were choking me up and the lump in my throat was so large I felt slightly dizzy from lack of oxygen. I walked slowly down the hall, and around the corner to where the rest of my family was sitting, immediate and extended. A while later I went back to the room again, to sit with him again. I sit here and type this and tears silently roll down my face as I listen to some worship music. I know the clock is ticking, it isn't long now, unless there's a miracle coming around, because that's what it would take. Only God knows exactly how long it will be. The last thing I did was squeeze his hand and whisper in his ear, "see you later Granddad." I know that I will see him later, whether it be on this earth or in heaven. Oh, and what was he thinking about? My aunt asked him when I had left the room for the first time and he answered with one word: "heaven".

Life needs to be embraced. Tell them you love them, whoever in your life it may be.
It's ironic that this is all happening around thanksgiving, the time when we specifically think about how blessed we are. Sometimes it's difficult to think about how blessed you are when battling pain and anguish. I can't count all the blessings my Heavenly Father has poured upon me, and that's the way God intended for it to be. Too numerous to count, but worthy of thanksgiving to Him.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

(I wish you were here, to be my shoulder to lean on, but I know it's impossible.)