classical music is never out of style

Internalizing information is like coffee filtering in the early morning. It takes time.
I wonder if if I'm shutting myself away or if I'm actually handling it really well.
These days, shafts of hope spill through my window and life actually seems remotely alive.
I don't want to be ingenuine (that's not a word, but I'm using it).

I've been thinking quietly the last few days.

He'll never see me go to university or college and maybe get a degree and he'll never see me get married or have any great-grand children, and I suddenly realized I really wanted him to be there through it all.
He was always so supportive.
He loved when I played the piano and sang and wrote songs and most of all loved when I played classical music.
He loved how whenever we had big family gatherings I'd be the one getting drinks, serving and entertaining. I was the "hostess with the mostess".
He loved how determined I was about things and how people meant so much to me.

I really don't know what else to say. I'm extremely restless. Till later...