last minute thoughts before camp

"It's been one of those days for a lot of days, I need a day when the world can take care of itself.........but I'm not done yet."
-Superchick- Not Done Yet.
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Tomorrow I go. I haven't been pumped for something this much since the play in May...I might even be more excited than then. I can't say I'm going completely unbiased, heh, but I like that I have a general idea of things. I like life that way.
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Sometimes you find lyrics to a song that explains everything. We want lyrics to be our answer sometimes, to show us, we're just like everybody else.
Sometimes you find a scene in a movie that you can relate to completely and it tries to be you. You try to make it you and it doesn't work.

That's because it all comes from the imaginations of people, based on real-life experiences, but glossed over with fairy tale endings.

Why can't someone write a song that ends just as depressing as it started? Something along the lines of (as the last chords of music play and fade out) "The darkness remains" I think that even as it would be so depressing, it would also be beautiful, because it's not all painted with the happy-go-lucky-smiley-face-you'll-get-what-you're-after-by-the-end-of-the-on-average-three-minutes-and-thirty-second-song.....And the I'm-breaking-up-with-you-because-you're- the-worst-guy-in-the-world songs don't count.

Why can't someone write a movie script that doesn't end with the main character boy and the girl hooking up.? Why can't we kill one of them off? (like A Walk to Remember somewhat) BUTTTT the person left has no hope at the end of the movie. OR someone else comes into one of the "couple" lines of vision and they just totally ditch the other person for the new person and it ends like that? I think that as "not done" as that is, it would more encouraging to some people, rather than the boy-meets-girl-or-vice-versa-and-they-go-out-and-it's-heaven-on-earth-for-a-while-but-then-something-happens-to-tear-them-apart-but-eventually-it-all-works-out-and-they-get-back-together-and-they-kiss-in-the-garden-and-live-happily-ever-after-movie.

Although, true confession time is here. I'm a girl, so sometimes I desperately "need" to watch that type of movie. I don't know why though. Is it because I want to try to convince myself my life will end up like that? (Which is a false view!) It's satisfactory for the moment? Rather, it makes me feel worse, because "everybody else... (I use "everybody" loosely)...life is together and they'll end up like the people in the movie and I won't. (That is also a very false view).

We ask ourselves how come these writers and lyricsts can write this stuff when most probably they go through the same things we do. Maybe they're just trying to comfort themselves as well and those people just happen to have the "privilege" of having the job they have. As a (songwriter) myself, I fall into the same trap, but I'm experimenting with different thought processes.

There is hope, but I don't really like false hope.

Now, I'm going to listen to my music that will give me temperary comfort.

"I don't want to be anybody else but me"