living for the stage

These days go by so fast and take so much energy, but this feeling isn't completely foreign.
This week I will make my debut in the Sound of Music on stage playing a variety of characters, which happens to be, I believe, one of my specialties.

This time there is no falling in love with donkey's or weird psychologically wacked movie stars or emotional mail order brides who refuses to kiss their best guy friend who happens to be playing the husband or self-centered flirtatious radio actresses who finger tip toe around. No. This time, there is a "pious" nun, a lighthearted partygoer who learned to waltz properly and a stage hogging flamboyant girl who can't even help it. OH, and there's singing.

This will be the 5th time I get up on stage during my highschool career and act to an audience. I look back and realize just how far I've come in my dramatic arts career and all the wonderfully off-kilter characters I have had the intense priviledge to play. It is indeed wonder-full.

Part of me lives for the stage. Yes. I know it very well.
If I didn't have to worry about building a life and posisbly a career and I had all the money I needed, I would go into theatre arts in university. While that may not be a reality, I will certainly take all these experiences, techiniques and moments and use them through out any career I may have with children. Who knows, maybe the threatre won't be able to keep me away. Maybe, you'll find me storming the theatre and standing centre stage yet again.

crunch time!

The Sound of Music rapidly approaches and it seems that right now, it is my life. Well, besides school. I love it and dislike and am thoroughly exhausted by it all at the same time.

What an experience. I suppose I should savour these last 2 weeks of play practice mayhem because after it's over it willl never be duplicated.

Thank God for days off when I can recharge.

so it's that designated love oriented time of the year

No three words have greater power than "I love you".

Valentines Day. It can be rough for some people for various different reasons. It can also contain some of the most romantic moments for others.
Could we find a happy medium?

with all

Did you know that when it says in Proverbs 3: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart...."
It actually means with// ALL //your heart?
All of it. All means ALL. Everything. The beginning, end, and in between.

This fact startled me this weekend as it sunk in.

All of me, for more of Him.

your opinion, my opinion, their opinion...

No matter where you go, one thing you are guaranteed to find is an opinion.

This fact has, overwhelmingly, been brought to my attention.

ok. good. me too.

Ever feel like your bursting on so many levels and emotions?
Ok. Good. Me too.

Ever feel like you just want to march up to someone and give them a piece of your mind?
Ok. Good. Me too.

Ever feel at loose ends?
Ok. Good. Me too.

Ever want to tell someone to get over themselves?
Ok...yeah....I do want to do this.

Ever been content?
Working on it.
It's quite lovely actually.

finding your completion...

Semester One is complete! Now, I have time to share some of the thoughts that I have been mulling on lately.

I will start with marriage. Yes, indeed. In the last week of Religion class we did a brief study of marriage and what it means. While I disagree with some of the Catholic views on marriage (whole other conversation...) I do agree with and support their stressing of the fact that marriage is a sacramental union between a man, a woman and God. I also highly, HIGHLY agree with their standpoint that completeness is not found in a significant other/spouse. This is the point I am going to expound upon.

Plain and simple, straight up: You cannot find your completion in another human being. They are not your literal "other half". They do not fill the emptiness inside. There is only one thing, one person that can do that and that is the Love of God. That's just how it is. You cannot hang your hopes on a person, they will let you down and betray you. They won't do everything you want them to do and they will not do all the right things (or what you think are the right things for them to do). While God doesn't do everything we want Him to, because our best is not His best (just wrote a song on that topic....) His love is pure and perfect. He won't ever let you down. He will never leave you depressed and weighed down by the world. You could go to the ends of the earth and you would not be able to find another human being that lived up to all your expectations. If you are trying to find your completion in a person, or essence of a person, you have made them your idol, and your #1. If you say that you are following God, then your completion, your void should be filled only by God and His Love for us. Come on. The Love is so great we cannot even contain it within out hearts, minds and souls. Surely that can be enough.

Well I could go on for much longer, but my point is made. Actually my point was made in the first sentence...
---
"Live for love. Without love, you don't live."

1/2

I cannot believe that I have finished a semester of "real" highschool. The best part is, I totally survived! Next semester will be interesting. Partly because the subjects will be completely different and partly because I have become extremely firmiliar with the school and how it works.

My favourite part is I get to graduate in June with an official diploma, grad ceremony and celebration. It's not as far off as I think.

It has also come to my attention that I will be 19 at graduation.

September....university?

AH. Okay, let's just take one thing at a time.

mind over [culminating]

They said it wouldn't be easy. No, it's not. But what I've found is it's worth it. Somehow, it's all for good and I don't always get it, but I catch glimpses of it and it is good. Faith, gotta get some more of that. Indeed. We can't always get what we want, but we almost always get what we need. So maybe it's cliche, but I don't really care 'cause this is just how it is. *laughs*. Oh the joys of standing for what you believe in and who you believe in. It's interesting to work on the definition of yourself...

for Writers Craft culminating which is my favourite class we have to put together a "magazine" of what we think are our best pieces of work from the semester, edited and arranged. The catch is, it has to have a common theme. So innocently enough I chose: "Emotion and Description" which will probably end up as "Emotions of Description". One of my classmates came over to ask me where I was going with my theme and I told her. She laughed (good naturedly) and shook her head and said "oh, that's very Kathleen". Then I laughed. I guess these people are getting to know me better than I thought.

Here's my key: Rise to the occasion, treat everybody as nicely as possible and don't stoop to any low levels. *laughs*. Easier said than done.

I leave you with this for now: You have to get to know you. That's one thing I've learned the last few months. If you don't know who you are, you should probably start working on that, or maybe you've changed and you need to be reintroduced and get to know yourself again. Go on a date. ;)

Well that's mind over culminating. I must go prepare for tomorrow's UN meeting as vice chair.

the truth of exchanging words

finding a connection
to lapse silences, share glances, values
to relate, expound, realize, digress
for words are ordinary
expression stands alone
pieced together in sincerity
outcomes bring deeper meaning
united minds, intimate moments
collective sighs and quizzical looks
journeying down this road has no map
there is no set direction
no place you must go

you may go where you wish
danger, horror.
joy, bliss.
tight lipped or vulnerable
be not afraid, for you learn on your way
it comes with a price
listen, listen, listen
in return, it is a gift
you are handed

expand upon expansion
there is so far to go
wide, and deep, high and low
clock ticks on
perhaps it feels faster
hold precious the ability
intelligence, depth
may it possess truth at the heart
down to the last word

step away knowing more
enriched, decisive
go on your way
do not lose this gift
hold it dear
hold it precious
those words you just said may be engrained
on the mind, on the hands, on the heart
of the one you just left.