My heart feels fit to burst once in a while.
Gah. My heart breaks once in a while too.
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'Tad jumbled these days. Not really sure what direction I'm really going in at any given moment. It's very curious and intensely frustrating at times, as well as joyful and laced with beautiful words that play over in my mind, again and again.
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Sometimes my heart screams at me, and I don't want to listen.
Sometimes my heart whispers at me, and I listen too hard.
Sometimes my conscience runs me over and I don't pay attention.
Sometimes my conscience pulls me back, and I feel I've lost, but won.
Sometimes my smile betrays myself to me in the mirror.
Sometimes my smile is filled with more happiness than I can show.
Sometimes my feet run the opposite way to where they want to go.
Sometimes my feet run too fast and they end in places which I didn't think through first.
Sometimes my hands write things, I wish I meant with all my heart.
Sometimes my hands write things, I wish weren't so dead on true.
Sometimes God pulls me aside and points things out, I really need to fix.
Sometimes God confirms my walk by using someone, or some words.
Sometimes my life takes itself over, I loose sight of where my joy should come from.
Sometimes my life floats on wings of love and happiness, some true, some not.
I do not know where "sometimes" may lead.
God just reminds me to keep my head up high, love Him and love others deeply, genuinely. truly, without regret or compromise.
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I may sound sad or as one dear friend calls it "depressed". No, not depressed. Not anymore. Depressed is serious, it takes over your life, folding it and twisting it and grabbing at it with its claw like invisable hands. It destroys and takes without apology. No not depressed. I'm just a lot more thoughtful these days. Realizing my "oldness". Discovering the possibilities of life and contemplating what I really need. I think A LOT. Us homeschooled kids, we spend a fair bit of time by ourselves.:P
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I'll try to love you truly.
5 comments:
Not to devalue to rest of your post, but your description of depression made me think, "Wow, she's so right."
Love, Keith
I would really like to meet you. :P.
You're amazingly spot on and fantastic.
Honestly.
Continue loving. :-)...(I enjoy my lame-ness)
:-P
keith is right your depression thing is spot on.
what did you mean by.."i thought so. isee" on my thing?
Keith. Thanks. I realized as I read your comment we haven't caught up in a while....one day soon!? My mind's been busy.:P I love you too.
Bekah. I would indeed like to meet you as well.:) I'll try to keep loving, sometimes, its extremely difficult, but thank you for the encouragement.<3
Mal. Thanks.:) I thought so, about stuff coming back, and yeah, I can see it in you a little bit, in how you react to stuff and such like. I love you.
HI kathleen please don't think I am being intrusive but this is the only way I could find to contact you so please bring your money tomorrow
$12
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